Was it locker 6d, row 3, aisle 5, or locker 5d, aisle 6 row c?
My heart was pounding as I ran along each corridor.
I wondered how long the generators held.
I pictured the brochure “all your most precious safe in climate controlled lockers, . . . generator back up . . .
Page blurred on me, or was it just sweat in my eyes.
Ken said, get it tattooed on your arm, but I was too scare of pain and needles.
Generator lights began to flicker, I ran faster.
If I was too late . . .
Breathlessly written, and almost too late, for Friday Fictioneers, September 30.
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October 4, 2016 at 4:28 pm
I enjoyed the tattoo detail. Made the scene more fraught.
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October 4, 2016 at 4:39 pm
Glad you liked the detail. I’ve often thought of getting one as a memory aide.
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October 2, 2016 at 4:58 pm
Dear Frilly,
First, welcome to Friday Fictioneers. You story was fraught with tension that left this reader breathless. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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October 2, 2016 at 2:05 pm
What’s in the room?!
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October 3, 2016 at 1:09 am
I’d love to know!
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October 2, 2016 at 11:56 am
Letting the reader fill in their own details is a large part of what flash fiction is about, I think
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October 3, 2016 at 1:10 am
Yes, and honing writing skills that makes it possible for the reader to fill those details in.
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September 30, 2016 at 3:23 pm
I wonder what’s in that room. Great scene! Would love to see a continuation.
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September 30, 2016 at 9:14 pm
I wonder myself — I have several ideas so I could produce altnerate endings and let the reader decide. Thanks so much for stopping in.
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September 30, 2016 at 10:01 am
This whole story reminded me of a scene from the movie Primer. But anyway, great job. I like how easily you drew me into the story
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September 30, 2016 at 11:30 am
Not familiar with the movie, Primer, but it reminded me of episodes of television shows like CIS wherever.
Thanks for stopping by.
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