“You know what the TRUE opiate of the people is?” he asks, waving my wooden spoon as sauce splats against my kitchen wall.
As usual, I perch on a stool, elbows on the counter, taking in the show.
Another sip of perfectly chilled $50 plus a bottle sauvignon blanc he brings, and wait. His questions are always rhetorical, not requiring more than a mere nod of my head.
“Bacon!” as another splat of sauce drips down the wall. “Bacon half-pound fat burgers on donut buns; chocolate-coated, batter dipped, deep fried bacon; bacon wrapped bacon . . .”
I reach for the wooden spoon before ALL of the sauce hits the ceiling.
“Yes, dear,” I murmur. Stroking his hand and his ego. He turns his wonderous handsomeness back to the stove and his special sauce. I love the way his 10 out of 10 ass moves as he cooks.
He looks as good in my kitchen as a BLT sandwich, double bacon, with cheese, fried toasty brown in bacon fat. Hold the tomato. No veggies needed. And, damn, that sandwich is mighty fine!
Concocted/whipped up for Pat’s mlmm Fine Dining; Kitchen Tricks
July 21, 2017 at 10:26 am
Whew!! It is HOT in that kichen! Oh, baby!
I think the whole bacon nation thing is a bit much for me. Actually, more than a bit. But it’s funny.
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July 17, 2017 at 11:50 am
Haha so funny Lorraine. A greatly to define a fine looking man, one who’s cooking at that!
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July 17, 2017 at 7:04 pm
Yep, he was cooking alright — got mighty hot in that tiny little kitchen, lol.
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July 18, 2017 at 4:09 am
Haha :)
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July 17, 2017 at 1:49 am
LOVE this Soooo Much–hilariously romantic, and I could easily picture the scene with sauce spattered everywhere :)
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July 17, 2017 at 7:09 pm
Thanks.
I had fun writing this — it just took off when the first line popped into my head. That hasn’t happened it a while, so it was nice to feel like I was playing.
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July 17, 2017 at 9:05 pm
Oh I so relate, Lorraine–“playing” while writing makes it a wonderful pastime! :)
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July 18, 2017 at 10:46 am
Sure does!
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July 18, 2017 at 4:46 pm
:)
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July 17, 2017 at 1:04 am
What a delight to read. Haha. Now I’m craving for bacon!! :D
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July 17, 2017 at 7:08 pm
Thank you. Yes, I’ve been craving bacon since I wrote this. And, I do like grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon tucked inside. I do try not to fry it up in bacon fat these days. Sigh.
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July 16, 2017 at 7:36 pm
I had to laugh, a 10 out of 10 ass…lol….I think the metaphor you created works so well, though the thought of all that cholesterol is a tad offputting…
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July 16, 2017 at 11:01 pm
I think it’s an American thing! The cholesterol — I’m sure Australians have 10 out of 10 asses, too, lol.
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July 16, 2017 at 11:48 pm
I wish
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July 17, 2017 at 7:07 pm
Well, I’ve only ever seen you forwards . . . .
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July 17, 2017 at 7:28 pm
And that’s not necessarily my best side…lol
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July 17, 2017 at 8:13 pm
Guess I’ll have to take your word on that . . . .
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July 16, 2017 at 6:28 pm
Brilliant!
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July 17, 2017 at 7:06 pm
Thanks — the line about the real opiate of the people got me started. I was cooking as they say, lol.
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July 18, 2017 at 2:48 am
I really got that ,🌹💜
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July 18, 2017 at 10:50 am
<3
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July 18, 2017 at 1:00 pm
😶
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July 16, 2017 at 8:37 am
Oh damn – I AM hungry now – ravenous – LOL – not only for the sandwich – mmmmmmmmmm …. BACON (omg, I sound like Homer Simpson!) —- but ahem, the dude, for all his arm waving wooden spoon yielding and sauce spattering? He sounds pretty appetizing too! Nothing like watching a fine man moving and cooking …. *sigh* – it’s been too long! ;)
Great tale Lorraine :D
You said your muse is AWOL, but I think you’re doing more than just fine working it – cause you had me hooked with the first line – had me chuckling in laughter – because you set the tone and pace so perfectly – on the menu tonight: slightly pompous arrogant *ass* – LOL – how delicious – but nonetheless, absolutely tasty, for your fine dining pleasure.
Loved the story – and the added touch – stroke of the hand and ego – just so perfectly phrased Lorraine.
Thanks for playing the Sunday writing prompt :)
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July 16, 2017 at 10:43 am
More than welcome.
Your bottle of opium gave me the first line. Toyed with various opiates, but given the number of ways I see bacon — just fine on it’s own, a few strips, or slipped into a grilled cheese sandwich — become a new food group down here, well . . .
And, watching a nice male ass work the kitchen is always a pleasure — even if the food isn’t so hot!
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July 17, 2017 at 7:31 am
LOL@last lines in comment! How true – *sigh* another rare and unfulfilled pleasure in my life – “blurgh” <— "exhausted day=hopeless me" ….
Bacon is and should be an entire food group in itself! Hot damn! :D
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July 17, 2017 at 7:06 pm
I think it is a food group here in the States. There is bacon everything, and I do mean everything! Almost makes me not want to eat it. Almost.
Hope you get to have a nice ass working the stove in your kitchen — and not just in your imaginings, lol.
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July 18, 2017 at 8:26 am
yeah, maybe one day – but neh, I’m not holding out any hope – <—- nice ass and a "home"
BACON – Bacon – BACON – but it has to be the real deal – the REAL deal – yummmm!
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July 16, 2017 at 7:29 am
Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
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July 16, 2017 at 10:39 am
Thank you for the reblog
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