It was golem’s truth that sent her there – balancing parallel between smoky sky and snowy earth – like tightrope walking white caps upon the rough edges of a stormy sea.
Her people thought her flighty, an empty-headed girl navigating without beacon nor map. Awestruck by pupae turned butterfly in jar. Amused for hours by prism light splaying ‘gainst background of plain white walls.
A mercy, they thought, that she should find a suitor in her mal de coucou world. With proper training by aunts, grandmothers, sisters, mothers, 1st and 3rd cousins, she could learn cost of women’s forever-after by wedding date; day set by his desire and parents’ whims.
But she was given gift, as she tossed last night in single bed on wedding eve, of a dream, a sign. She watched herself open lid, set butterfly free. It’s wings bent light, fracturing, refactoring images like magic lantern show. Of saying please, to tending needs, of thorny vines that bind.
She awoke, nerve strong, to spare her finger, her soul, of leaden weights in guise of golden ring. Nothing would make her feet walk aisle; feet meant to balance life for herself alone.
I have combined four prompts in this piece: Sunday Whirl, mlmm wordle, photo challenge and tale weaver. Rather a large gulp of wedding toast champagne.
sunday whirl words 302: empty, cost, mercy, sign, flighty, free, bind, spare, jar, gift, forever; not used: groove
mlmm wordle words 158: background, please, awestruck, tend, parallel, mal de coucou (a phenomenon in which you have an active social life but very few close friends—people who you can trust, who you can be yourself with, who can help flush out the weird psychological toxins that tend to accumulate over time—which is a form of acute social malnutrition in which even if you devour an entire buffet of chitchat, you’ll still feel pangs of hunger, smoke, nerve, strong, desire, golem’s truth (A secret that must be kept on pain of death. ); not used: spill
mlmm photo challenge image 168: Cetrobo
mlmm tale weaver # 123: The June Bride
June 26, 2017 at 2:20 pm
Exquisite gift of language and theme, strong yet subtle–very pleasing.
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June 26, 2017 at 4:52 pm
Thank you — glad you enjoyed this piece.
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June 26, 2017 at 8:04 pm
I did! :)
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June 9, 2017 at 8:59 am
Always :)
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June 9, 2017 at 1:59 am
I’m super impressed! Four prompts wow! I loved this story, how she knew about her special gifts and how important they were. How a traditional marriage would trap her. I’m glad she is going to not get married. I’m pretty sure doubts like hers are a clear warning not too. Better to be alone and happy thsan shackled to someone you grow to despise. Better for him too.
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June 9, 2017 at 7:31 am
Yes, I think couples get pushed along to the alter — like the preverbal snowball going down a hill. Then it’s too late — everything is in place, and the couple is in love with the ideal and idyll of love.
The fashion of the woman in the photo reminded me of the late 1800s when women were trapped into marriage just as the world was slowly opening up to them through different sorts of employment, better education. All the better to dream of butterflies then, and as you are right, even now. Thank you for your wonderful comment.
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June 8, 2017 at 7:26 pm
Good one Lorraine, and interesting take on this prompt….
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June 9, 2017 at 7:28 am
Thinking I should respond to my own prompt, I went back to my compilation of the week file, and pulled strands, rather abrupt and rough-hewn, into one story. Not the rich narrative you present in your A[w]s[ome] story. Picture perfect wedding in day in the village of As. See my comment re my aunt.
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June 8, 2017 at 5:20 pm
Wow! Now this is one hell of a piece – Right from the first sentence, through the first paragraph, you caught and hooked me; each line, each partial phrase, works one with the one, paints an incredible scene, speaks with a depth and truth, a resonance that is gripping – and each prompt you used, works perfectly with the other, which means, you’ve tied this story up – with the perfect golden ring.
It’s an incredible story – the words are not empty, or meaningless, – there is a bit of a clipped tone, but it speaks of the break of waves, and the peaks of snow capped ridges, and so it is only slightly discordant – yet personally, I would have it no other way.
This is a keep – rich and full – and it speaks of triumph, hope – and a true spirited beauty.
Incredible Lorraine – absolutely wonderful – very spirited, evocative and powerful. :D
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June 9, 2017 at 9:06 am
I’ve been experimenting with this jerky sort of style, writing without “the”s, short-handing my prose, staccato and stiletto. Interesting then, that it reads like waves and the snow-drifted and broken sky-line spines of mountains. To have our words/style interpreted back through others eyes is an intriguing (but I search for a stronger word) process. I then reread it with a different sense of myself.
I had a compilation file of the other three prompts, and said, Hummm, I should respond to my own prompt — is there a wedding, well I always figured an in-wedding story here.
Your comments blow me away. Thanks. Greatly appreciated.
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June 12, 2017 at 12:29 pm
I’ve noticed the experiment with style, in fact, going back to one of our emails, about writing, I was even going to comment about it – anyhow, later on that, if I can tease the thread out –
It works here – so well, and you’re right – when we have the chance to step back and reread a piece, and see it and understood as a viewer/reader might, it can add another depth and dimension to how we consider the piece, and the process, as well as a whole bunch of other things.
And having just written this, I think – in some ways, it’s a good thing, but it can also be a double-edged sword – because before this whole internet age, feedback was through other means and ways, and far less broad – so writers had to rely on their own knowingness, and a few trusted people who could critique and help work with them stylistically, and how often, then, if a work was published, would the writer know of its reception and interpretation? Interesting ideas this …. anyhow, off topic – Wonderful piece this – I really loved how you’ve worked it all :)
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June 8, 2017 at 10:06 am
Very vivid, I relate a lot with the protagonist!
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June 9, 2017 at 8:59 am
Thanks — I feel a lot of her in me, too. I love the nice obscure wordle words and phrases you add. Makes it all the more intriguing and challenging, to say nothing of the improvement in my vocabulary.
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June 9, 2017 at 9:43 am
It improves my vocabulary as well and I am glad you like that because I love words and when I see a beautiful word I want to share it
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June 9, 2017 at 10:10 am
I need to make notes of words I come across; many slip in and out. The wordle, whether I do it or no, encases them in time to be savoured again and again.
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June 9, 2017 at 10:49 am
I actually carry an E-Reader around so that I can make notes lol So if I get ideas or see a good word while I am reading on it or if I just want to write
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June 9, 2017 at 11:14 am
Good idea! I really should start a word journal — electronic or pen and paper.
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June 8, 2017 at 5:13 am
So clever combining so many prompts. An enjoyable read!
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June 8, 2017 at 5:25 am
Thank you. I don’t usually pull so many prompts together! Did feel like a big gulp.
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June 8, 2017 at 5:26 am
You definitely pulled it off! 😀
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