Typical grimm night in the mean streets of Fairyland.
Booked Bo Beep for fleecing unsuspecting marks. She got on the horn to her crooked 300 pound lawyer, “Little Boy” Blue.
Busted up hair pulling match between Rapunzel and Sleeping Beauty over Prince Charming. Cinderella got away in her nitro-juiced-up pumpkin. But that’s another fairy tale.
Rumble on Grandmother Street. The Wolves and the Riding Hoods at it again. Two of the worse biker gangs in Fairyland. Battle over slice of turf left open when the Humpty Dumptys were fried by all the Kingsmen. Who were zapped by minions of the Godmother. But that’s another fairy tale.
My name is Sargent Rumpled Stiltskin, Fairyland is my beat. Yeah, the stories are true, and I don’t change names to protect the innocent. Everyone is guilty of something in this not-so-fair city. Even Snow White. She took those seven dwarves for every bit of gold they mined; left them short on cash. Yeah, she was a real gold digger. But that’s another fairy tale.
(c) Lorraine
For mlmm Tale Weaver #121: Reverse/Naughty Fairy Tales 25.5.17
Lorraine's frilly freudian slip 
May 27, 2017 at 1:11 am
And all this starts around the Grandmother’s Shoe district…
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June 1, 2017 at 6:31 am
Yep — gotta watch out for those glass slippers with stiletto heels!
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June 1, 2017 at 11:40 am
Sharp dressing with a purpose
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June 1, 2017 at 4:40 pm
fashion goes to new heights
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June 1, 2017 at 4:42 pm
Killed by dress headlines read
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June 1, 2017 at 4:56 pm
“a victim of fashion & accessories” (Carole Pope)
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June 1, 2017 at 5:02 pm
best body outline ever
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June 1, 2017 at 8:17 pm
one for the catwalk
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June 1, 2017 at 8:34 pm
glitter and guts just glamorous
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June 2, 2017 at 12:49 am
cover of Vogue and True Crime
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June 2, 2017 at 9:54 am
Enquirer Stars with Time
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June 3, 2017 at 9:44 pm
while viral video facebooks, and twitters away
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May 26, 2017 at 2:33 pm
Great take. This is a world I’d like to read more about…
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June 1, 2017 at 6:32 am
Thanks. There may be more from Sargent Stiltskin yet.
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May 25, 2017 at 10:15 pm
I want to hear more about these other fairytales. I love reinvented fairytales, so cool.
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May 25, 2017 at 10:37 pm
Yea, there’s been a lot of them, going back to the politically correct book and beyond. I enjoy them too. Glad you liked my noir version.
Paperbag Princess (1980) remains one of my favs. Now that was a Princess with attitude. Wonder if someone has rewritten ALL the Disneyfied Princesses yet?
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May 26, 2017 at 10:13 am
I’ll have to look up Paper bag Princess. Sounds like I’d love it.
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May 26, 2017 at 7:00 pm
You would. It’s by Robert Munch, 1980, and published initially in Canada.
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May 25, 2017 at 7:53 pm
OMG – This IS BLOODY BRILLIANT!
(sorry don’t mean to shout) – but this is absolutely smackingly, gob-smackingly fan-fun-fantasy- tastic!
Each line, each re-worked tale of character – is dead perfect – and it reads like a penny not so dreadful at all. You’ve totally captured the essence and spirit and genre to a brilliant T.
I stand and applaud, cat call and whistle and throw dandelions (far better than hybrid roses in my estimation) at your feet!
Most amazing read and writing here Lorraine – be proud :D
(And how in the hell am I supposed to write to the prompt now???)
You’ve blown my mind – which is a wonderful thing :D
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May 25, 2017 at 10:33 pm
Glad you enjoyed it! Some of the idea comes from a comment discussion, ages ago, with Mark of colouring between the lines and project21words, about his Red Riding Hood, and my less than “nice” image of Snow White. The rest, well, it ain’t history, but . . .
I don’t know the keystrokes for a blushing emoji, so lets just say I’m a blushing emoji after your absolutely tremendous comments. Aw shucks, thanks!
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May 26, 2017 at 11:15 am
It’s just awesome – as are you :) And yeah, you never can tell where and how some words, ideas, exchanges will crop up and end up fueling the new sparks! Once again, kudos and take a well deserved bow …. :)
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May 26, 2017 at 7:02 pm
I shall. Just did, now back to the keyboard. Thanks for all the kudos, still ablush!
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May 26, 2017 at 7:16 pm
Blush away :)
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May 25, 2017 at 10:34 pm
PS: You can write to the prompt whenever inspiration may hit. Tale Weavers never have deadlines, due dates, or best before dates.
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May 26, 2017 at 11:16 am
yup … I know …. and I will try to get my mojo focused on something …. ;)
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May 25, 2017 at 5:35 pm
Wonderful approach to this prompt…..it could turn into a real noir set of tales…….you’ve done well Lorraine..
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May 26, 2017 at 6:54 pm
Thanks, Michael.
I owe a debt to Mark (colouring between the lines) and a long ago comment conversation about his Riding Hood, and my perceptions of Snow White. And the quirky way my mind was working . . . I do wonder about some of those squeaky clean nursery rhyme and fairy tale folk. You gave a great twist to the Fairy Godmother story.
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May 26, 2017 at 7:11 pm
You are kind as always 😀
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May 25, 2017 at 4:19 pm
Hilarious… Now I’m wondering what the hell happened in all these fairy tales :-P
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May 26, 2017 at 6:52 pm
Does make you wonder. Like your story — what are other Disney Princesses REALLY like.
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May 25, 2017 at 11:49 am
This is so clever, I love it!! I hope your not in the pay of Mr B Wolf and demolition business… That guy is full of hot air!
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May 25, 2017 at 10:25 pm
I don’t think Sargent Stiltskin is on the take — otherwise not so Rumpled? But going undercover at Mr. B. Wolf and his demolition business — now that’s a another fairy tale!
Glad you enjoyed mine — I’ll add Mr. B. Wolf to the list usual (or unusual)suspects to round up!
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May 26, 2017 at 3:19 am
Brilliant, so grateful to hear Sargent Stiltskin is straight if not Rumpled! Loved to here another fairy tale. 💝🤗
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May 26, 2017 at 6:58 pm
Well, thanks to your suggestion, and Isabel’s contribution, Sargarent Stiltskin just may be on another case, perhaps undercover.
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May 27, 2017 at 1:46 am
Love it !!
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