Mia stood on the threshold of the attic nursery. Light spilled through the half-drawn shades; dust motes danced to echoes of children’s laughter. The rocking horse swaying every so slightly as if someone just alighted from a ride through the countryside, slaying dragons and rescuing princesses. Crisp, white cotton nightclothes and rich velvety red robe laying on the play chest waiting for another someone to don them, then off to bed as the dollies already have. Soon both to be tucked in, prayers said, with fairy tale-filled heads, saying sleepy goodnights.
They were only hiding; ready to jump out and surprise her. Holding their breathes, not making a sound. Rustle of deep black taffeta dress against the door frame brought a prick of tears. They were already asleep; she would not find them here. Only their shadows, forever playing just out of her sight.
© Lorraine
Writing in the raw* for Sue Vincent’s Thursday Photo Prompt #writephoto child. Image by Sue Vincent.
*Writing in the raw is pretty much unedited, unforeseen writing. Little manipulation or reconsideration before I click publish. Might start with a word, a phrase, an image (generated by a prompt or no) and travels from there. If I think about writing, about creativity, I don’t write, nor post. So, writing in the raw is my way of expressing something – not polished and polite – but always raw and often crude and quite possibly rude.
April 29, 2017 at 10:08 pm
Delightful tale Lorraine, I did enjoy this one though I was pleased to read ‘writing in the raw’ was not what I first imagined..
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April 30, 2017 at 5:54 am
True — if I wrote in the raw, the results would always be a horror story.
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April 30, 2017 at 5:56 am
Well you could create your very own genre…
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April 30, 2017 at 5:57 am
Now that’s a thought. Good thing I’ve never turned on the Skype camera on my laptop should I develop this new form of writing. One good reason to stay in shape mentally and physically.
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April 30, 2017 at 5:59 am
Just think how the images would complement the story. You could be onto something Lorraine
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April 30, 2017 at 6:25 am
Somehow, I have a feeling that it might be “seen” as live pornographic just-to-graphic gothic horror. Emphasis on the horror — unless I readjusted the skype camera to the ceiling. A ceiling without mirrors, before you suggest otherwise, lol.
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April 30, 2017 at 6:27 am
Yes there are something’s just to horrible to contemplate. Best you keep the lens cap on😂
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April 30, 2017 at 6:46 am
A promise I’m sure I CAN keep.
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April 30, 2017 at 6:47 am
Should I ever see otherwise I shall be the first to let you know 😂
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April 30, 2017 at 7:34 am
I appreciate your helpfulness, kind sir.
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April 30, 2017 at 6:25 am
Never really liked ceilings with mirrors, anyways.
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April 29, 2017 at 7:21 am
Writing in the raw I think sometimes exposes to the reader the more immediate sense of the writer’s emotions. I have been reading everyone’s posts using this prompt and I think everyone is filled with a sense of sad nostalgia.
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April 30, 2017 at 5:41 am
The pictures of childhoods passed no doubt elicits such emotions.
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April 28, 2017 at 11:13 am
sometimes “raw” is the real AND only way to go – there is absolutely nothing wrong with this …. enjoy the process …. and you know, the “real” stories are there, in the lines, the words ….. so why not consider this as a “truth” that fits with the words that want to come out?
Bradbury said: “your intuition knows what to write, so get out of the way” –
and if this is the way you need to get things out, then do it –
why project unnecessary demands, expectations and requirements, when life is a series of “unpolished sketches” …..
when the day comes that you are sifting through and know the story that really wants more of your time, effort and attention, you’ll know, and you’ll be ready to set to that task …. sometimes, multi-tasking, i.e. trying to please too many all of the time, is the very last thing you need ….
as for this story? it has some really wonderful elements and aspects …. and that, in this moment, is more than “good enough” Lorraine
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April 29, 2017 at 2:12 am
Love the Ray Bradbury quote.
Guess it feels raw when I write this way because some folks let the words “stew” for awhile, or apply judicious pruning.
My private stuff — gets bogged when I edit too soon — I just write and go back and fix. But then, if I think too much.. . the story never gets finished in a written form.
Happens with prompts too — if the spark doesn’t snap, do I force my way through, or just sigh and so no? The possibility is I won’t write at all. Which happens a lot more lately. I can only retell myself stories so long before I forget them.
I forget stories, so I never really know if a story wants more of my time because I can’t hear it over the roar of what came next, or later. Does that mean it didn’t want more attention, or just can’t get itself noticed?
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April 29, 2017 at 11:03 am
glad you like the quote :)
as for stories …. well, you know, not everything that pops into the head is going to want more time and attention ….. the things that do? they will be the pieces you keep going back to, to reread or the ones you really like ….. and even then, maybe they are just “complete” the way they are …. only you know, and they know ….. and maybe it just helps to think that this is like “sketching” ….. words words words …. note books filled with jottings, scribbles, ideas ….. and what? does every thing ever get worked on? of course not, and that’s okay.
Stop comparing where YOU are at and WHAT you need to do, right now, with what everyone else is doing. They don’t matter, other than to read and just enjoy – but whether they spent 10 minutes or 10 hours on something? It’s not relevant, and assuming that just because you read something, and it blows you away? Well, you have no way of knowing whether they sweated it out or it was easy, or something that was a WIP and seemed to fit the bill …. so just do what you need to to and stop trying to be someone and something you’re not …. RAW may slide you out of your comfort zone, but sometimes, it’s the only way to actually make any headway …..
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