I worry about Anya – she took in any stray cat, dog, animal, and men like Sergey. Men who promised much, took much, and gave so little. Yet, Anya willingly accepted these crumbs, these scraps of love is if that was all she needed to exist upon. I knew she deserved so much more than dogs like Sergey. But, she did not see her own her beauty, even when reflected in the moonlit river. All she saw were scars and flaws – the imperfections she forgave in others, she cursed in herself.
Well, tonight, will put an end to Sergey. He forgets what I hear when Anya is not present – there will be no elopement, enrichment of his pockets, then cruel abandonment. When he comes to the river to met Anya, I shall protect her, guard her as I always have. Since she found me as a small abused pup and took me home with her.
Written for Jane Dougherty’s Microfiction Challenge #24: Moonlit Night
Painting by Iliya Repin
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December 1, 2016 at 2:09 pm
What a good dog! I understand what Jane said about POV, but I still like the story, and after all, we don’t really know what a dog thinks. :)
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December 1, 2016 at 3:00 pm
Thanks — guess I created a sort of super dog who understands, doesn’t just mimic what he hears, and thinks in big words. Suzy, a dog of my acquaintance in the past, seemed to sense on a esp level the human world.
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December 1, 2016 at 11:47 am
i agree with Jane about getting the dog’s POV right. Otherwise, a most interesting read and extremely well written.
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December 1, 2016 at 3:01 pm
Thank you. I agree with Jane, too. :)
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November 27, 2016 at 11:52 am
I do see what Jane means about writing from a dog’s perspective, but I still loved the story, Lorraine – loved the language, the rhythm, equalling Sergey to a dodgy stry. All excellent. It had a good flow to it and you’d never guess you wrote it quickly. Very strong
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November 27, 2016 at 12:11 pm
Thank you. I got the vibe from the painting of the dog as protector and Anya as needing that protection. Sometimes the stories sorta write themselves.
Glad you liked it.
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November 28, 2016 at 4:25 am
Very accomplished I thought. Lovely stuff
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November 28, 2016 at 4:44 am
:)
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November 26, 2016 at 9:29 pm
Most fascinating take on the image Lorraine, I enjoyed the doggy perspective very much..
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November 26, 2016 at 9:59 pm
Thanks, Michael. : ) :
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November 26, 2016 at 9:23 am
That was my thought too, that the dog was protecting her back. I like how you describe Sergey in relation to the strays Anya takes in, as if he has no more importance. I think if I were writing from the dog’s POV I’d keep the concepts simpler though, more in keeping with what a dog would understand. Elopements and enrichment are maybe too far out of a dog’s understanding. Describing Sergey’s shiftiness that the dog would notice, and that he is ultimately Anya’s enemy because he has no feeling for her might be more appropriate. That’s the problem with writing from an animal’s POV. It’s interesting but you’re limited to the human concepts you can describe.
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November 26, 2016 at 2:38 pm
I’m not sure I’ve ever tried writing from an animal’s POV before, and you’re very right — it’s difficult. The initial run-through didn’t have elopement, etc. I added as words he heard, but then, of course, the impression he understood them comes into play — trying to keep the twist til the very end I guess. Makes him a superpower dog! And, that would be another whole story.
I may try a rewrite without the more human aspects — play with it a bit — and see where it lands me.
Very intriguing painting. You wonder what Repin had in his mind as the artist, and what he wanted the viewer to experience.
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November 26, 2016 at 3:37 pm
He’s the kind of artist it isn’t fashionable to like anymore, and I certainly hadn’t heard of him until recently, but technically he’s pretty good and the subjects he chooses are often really off beat.
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November 26, 2016 at 8:10 pm
I like the off beat nature. I haven’t done a search for his work but I do intend to.
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November 27, 2016 at 2:51 am
He’s painted on wildly different subjects, and some fairy tales, so there’s often fantasy in his work.
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November 26, 2016 at 3:38 pm
About the dog, it would be an interesting exercise to try and think like one, just for the length of a short story. Leave out what a human being would deduce and stick to animal instinct.
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November 26, 2016 at 8:09 pm
I’ve only known 2 dogs well (neither were mine), but I could try and channel Suzy and Mango. Very different temperaments and intelligence levels but both were good dogs.
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November 27, 2016 at 2:50 am
I’ve only ever had one dog and I don’t think he’s representative of the species, but a dog that has been ill-treated (like Finbar was) will demonstrate the sort of diistrust of human beings it don’t know that involves keeping a safe distance and watching intently, every gesture and listening to the tone of voice for aggression.
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November 25, 2016 at 10:33 pm
A most loyal friend.
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November 25, 2016 at 11:28 pm
One you can trust to have your back.
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