A sparse piece of prosetry© for Jane Dougherty’s Microfiction Challenge #18: Lost. Sorry Jane, but there was a drowning – I couldn’t seem to get past the positionings of the figures.
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All things wash ashore. Seaweed. Sea shells and sea glass.
Ameta and her brothers walked the cliffs, eyes cast down to the rocky, savage beaches.
Storm angered breakers crashed, oblivating the sky and shore.
Pasquare’s boat found smashed in the cove. Sail like strips of kelp. Hull like bones of ancient whales.
Ameta wrapped herself in hope, and called his name.
All things wash ashore. Flotsam. Jetsam.
Ameta and the wind scoured beaches. Her voice pushed back into her throat.
Pasquare – her lover, her friend, her life. He could not be gone.
Her brothers could not console her, nor keep her from the cliffs and breakers.
All things wash ashore. Freed buoys. Broken nets. Battered traps. Pasquare.
© my frilly freudian slip, 2016
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October 20, 2016 at 8:44 am
The repetition of “All things wash ashore” is so powerful here. Adds a note of bleak fatalism. Great piece.
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October 20, 2016 at 3:35 pm
It seemed to be the refrain that held the pieces of the story together. I was fascinated by the painting and the positioning of the figures, the meeting of sea and sky — a bleak scene.
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October 20, 2016 at 8:35 am
Beautifully done. I agree with Jane, “bleak and tender.”
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October 20, 2016 at 3:35 pm
Thank you.
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October 15, 2016 at 2:24 pm
Beautifully written, so sad.
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October 16, 2016 at 9:51 am
Thank you.
The painting, to me, is one of intense grief — the angles, positions of the figures, sky and sea almost as one. :]:
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October 14, 2016 at 3:04 pm
Bleak and tender. You caught the spirit of the painting so well, the repetition, like the waves rolling on the shore.
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October 14, 2016 at 5:07 pm
Thanks Jane. As you point out, there is a sense of tragic dance in the placement of the figures, the dark sea and sky almost as one. Great choice for creating a story around.
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October 15, 2016 at 8:52 am
It made me think of the Synge play, Riders to the Sea.
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October 15, 2016 at 9:23 am
I’m not familiar — I’ll have to do some searching. Thanks for the suggestion.
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October 15, 2016 at 10:16 am
Same sort of atmosphere.
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